Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
