I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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