Having a random hookup so left but love u
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
