Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
