Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
