Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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