so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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