Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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