it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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