You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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