I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize