Do you still have your period?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
