I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize