Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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