It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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