Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
