you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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