He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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