do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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