I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.