please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
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Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
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He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.