I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.