I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
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He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me