i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.