you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.