Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
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Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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