Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
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I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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