We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
