I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Green mimosas i think yes
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
