I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize