my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize