I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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