Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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