O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
that may or may not have been my penis.
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