Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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