But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
