U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk