Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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