Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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