You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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