Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills