I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?