it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
