dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize