If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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