If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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