There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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