I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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