I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
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You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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