Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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