Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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