i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have tasted many bathrooms
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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