Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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