I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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