sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
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Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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