I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
