what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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